Beauty/BE

Surround me with beauty

Fill me with the fragrance of lilac

open my heart, my eyes

to the magnificence of nature

and help me to see

to feel to be

with ALL of me.

I want to do it all

before I die.

To FEEL it all

before I die.

But MOST of all,

I want to just BE

The loving, giving soul

I was always meant

(and brought to this earth)

to BE.

Happiness, Blessings Abound

Happiness has flown into my life so much of late.
I am continuously finding blessings that embrace me 
and hold me close and 
the gratitude that flows through
my heart is HUGE.
I know I am blessed to 
have so much love 
coming to this heart of mine
and I know too that I am blessed
to be able to share
this unending and all encompassing love
that I feel 
All I know to do
is to keep loving
and to say
to my angels, my spirit guides and 
our Dear Universe:


Thank YOU!!!
#

Sailing or Floating Along

I so long to find my way to the open waters
to be on a boat, floating or sailing along
enjoying Nature's gift
of the beautiful, warm kiss of the sun--


But for this dream, this hope of mine
to come true--to fully grasp the joy
that it would bring to this heart of mine
I would need, want and desire
someone along for the ride
to share, to experience to see
just how lovely it is
to be sailing or floating along
with me...


Just a dream, I know
but even the smallest of dreams
have the chance to come
so completely true.


I will Believe.
Will you?


###

Reflections

I look out my window at the end of my busy day
and I see the sunset reflecting back at me--
(Just one of nature's gifts)
Perhaps the universe senses
my extreme fatigue
and found a way
to show me
once again
her marvelous display
of splendor
as the sun retreats
to find it's way
to the morning sky
on the other side
of our beautiful world.

Always whenever I see
the sun setting low
at the end of my day--
I wish so much
that all those that I love
all those who know
and love me
will somehow see
the exquisite beauty--
feel the wondrous gift
of knowing
that another day is done--
but in just a few hours
a brand new day
will have begun...

Wow!

Pamela

Just In Case

I have to reflect on this awesome opportunity
that we've been granted--
So many years lost between us
several lifetimes it seems--
and yet
now?
I do love you
Always did
and hoped and prayed some day
I would have the chance again
to just tell you
how very much
I love and appreciate you.


Thank you
for all the years
you kept my heart close to yours--
thank you for not giving up entirely
on this woman child
who fell so hard for you
way back when.
I was so young (but so too were you)
had no real clue
what I needed or wanted back then
but all I know now
is that my heart rejoices
whenever I get to see
you again--


My world is richer,
brighter, better
because you are in it once more
and I still realize and know
that we have no inkling
of what might be in store
as the days and months and years ahead
unfold--
but I would be so remiss
if I didn't confess
how very much I love it
when I have you near
to hold...


I love your smile, 
your sparkling blue eyes,
love to hear your voice, your laugh--
but oh how much I also love
just feeling you near,
having your arms enfold me
embrace me to my core--
reminding me again
of the love we share
forever more...
I love you,
Sweet Blue Eyes--
I honestly Do.
Thank you so much
for loving me too...
#

I am That Tree

Look.
I am that tree.
I am alone on the beach
no one but the sunlight,
the sand,
the water
to accompany me.
I see in the distance
there are other trees
but they are not
of my clan
they do not know
or want me
but they accept
that I am here
with them.


Someday
I will know,
I will understand
all that it is 
that I need to know
that I need to understand.
Until then...
I will hope and strive
to get whatever meaning
that I can absorb
and is meant for me to see.


Until then--
just know
that I AM
that TREE.
Well, to be honest--
(that's who I really wish
I could be).


Sigh...


###Me.

Perfect Sunflower

While walking at the lake today,
I couldn't help but think of you
and wish somehow
I could have made time
just stand still and wait
for us to finish catching up
on everything in our hearts--
With you on your way
back to your home--
I was a bit pensive,
I will admit.
And then I saw this--
The Perfect Sunflower
and it made me WISH so much
somehow I could be
that perfect sunflower
(for you).
Standing tall and proud
full of beauty and grace
everything on me
in its proper place--
and my smile aimed at you,
your heart, your soul--
sending you my love
wherever you go...

Our Whole World Is Kin

I found this quote by William Shakespeare and am so very glad to see that even in his day, he believed so very much the same as me!  In my heart, I have no doubt that we are all so very connected and I think too that Nature pulls us all together far more than we even realize.

I still remember as a little girl, even before I went to kindergarten--playing in the dirt, letting it trickle through my fingers and KNOWING from somewhere deep within that this dirt I was touching, feeling, experiencing was a part of me, a part of all who had ever been, who would ever be.

It was then, at that tender age that I became extremely enthralled with Nature--with all living things.  I have always been very tactile--I have to feel, to touch, to really understand what it is that I am experiencing.

I wander through life in awe at the beauty that surrounds me--the sun, the sky, the flowers and trees and oh, best of all the lakes and oceans and all the creatures great and small.  I love that I am here on this earth, a part of this beautiful world that allows me to know without a doubt that all is as it should be, all is unfolding for the good.  We, as humans, may not understand the intricacies of our Universe, but anytime I am experiencing Nature's beauty and wonder, I am certain that all will align and all will be well...

Embrace Me To My Soul

Those moments
with you last night...
your sweet touch,
your hugs, your listening ear
and caring heart
embrace me to my soul.


Having you near again
holding me close
listening to the inside of me--
me listening to you--
brought back the sweet memories
of why I fell so very hard for you.


Time's treasures --
these little increments 
that we have been given
are such beautiful gifts
to hold so very dear--
I am so grateful
for this time 
we were able to share.


I can only hope
that the beautiful gifts
of time
will continue--
the hugs, laughter and joy
and closeness in heart
continues
for this is a world 
I want to be in--
the one that  includes you.


###

MY HOPE

I LOVE what that says.  

It almost hurts that the quote above did not come straight

out of me--

but it's okay

because it is so very succinct 

in that it says

so very MUCH 

of what I want to say...

What do I hope for?

I hope for universal understanding,

Universal LOVE,

universal caring and sharing,

and most of all

UNIVERSAL PEACE.

My dream?

My Hope?

For us all to just get along

and be tolerant

and understanding 

of all those who share

this time and space, this earth

with us.

And in thinking of the Possibility

that kids might grow up

to be neither the destroyers

or the destroyed

brings tears to my heart, my eyes.

This hope is so vast

and so huge 

inside of me

that it literally 

takes my breath away--

imagine -- just imagine --

a world (our world)

where UNDERSTANDING

and TOLERANCE

and CARING

and LOVE

are the PARAMOUNT

concerns

of all...

That is MY HOPE.

A Final Goodbye!

I'll get there.  But for now I have to look back and remember those times when things were so black and unreal and hard.  And then in looking back, I will be able to move onward, to forge ahead and find out just where it is I need to be, where it is I am going to find the real, inside ME.

So determined to find the ME that I want to BE.  I hear echoes of the past, of when I was so alone--so fucking, absolutely ALONE and fearful that I would never, ever find another living soul to understand, to help me to see that yes, yes, yes one day I would be free and that one day life would indeed welcome me.

I'm on my way, you know.  On my way to freedom from my past--freedom from the chains that held me tight and kept me from unleashing that which was the inner me.  I am no longer fearful of being just who it is I NEED and WANT to be.  No one can ever again hold me captive, keep me from feeling, from being, from experiencing all that is supposed to be ME. 

He can't hurt me anymore.  I relinquish all the hurt, all the pain, all the inner turmoil that I felt while under his grip, his domain and now I am FREE from the pain, the hold he had on me.  I never thought that it would be possible, but yes, now I'm FREE and I refuse--absolutely flat out refuse to ever allow him to have that hold on me again.  I am ME and by god, by universe, by all that is alive and well in this existence I am in--I will vow to never, ever, ever let him have his hold on me again.

So, just in case you don't get it (this is aimed at DR)--I am DONE letting you control my life, my heart, my mind, my body, my soul.  In case you have any doubt, let me give it to you straight:  I AM LETTING YOU GO.  DONE.  OVER. OUT.  BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get ready--I'm on my way to who I truly Intend for ME to BE!!!!

Brand New Endings

What a beautiful concept.  
And One that is so very true.
Each and every day 
is our gift
to start fresh,
to begin anew.
Wow.
I like that,
I really do.
Smiles (are seeping out)
from my heart
to each 
and every one
of you...
So, I'm ready
to start right now
to begin my brand new ending--
I would imagine (and hope)
that many of you
are ready too!


Blessings...


###

Blessings of Belonging--A Poem by John O'Donahue

John O'Donohue--

Blessed be the longing that brought you here and quickens your soul with wonder.
May you have the courage to befriend your eternal longing.
May you enjoy the critical and creative companionship of the question "who am I?" and may it brighten your longing.
May a secret providence guide your thought and shelter your feelings.
May your mind inhabit your life with the same sureness with which your body belongs in the world.
May the sense of something absent enlarge your life.
May your soul be as free as the ever new waves of the sea.
May you succumb to the danger of growth.
May you live in the neighborhood of wonder and may you belong to love with the wildness of dance and know
that you are ever embraced
In the kind circle
of God.

Eternal Echoes, Exploring Our Yearning to Belong. 


Borrowed from a dear and beloved friend's post who truly cares, who shares, who understands.  


Thank you, Friend.


#

Perhaps I jumped into the WRONG existence...

Please.  I just want the chance to feel.
Sometimes I think I am numb from the pain.
Pain?  Pain of knowing that I do not fit in as well as I should in this existence
that I find myself living within.

Just want the chance to find out--
do you understand?
does anyone understand?
If I go through that window of doubt
will I ever find my way back and if I do, will anyone want me as I am?

Kindness.  I don't know anymore if it even matters, if anyone will ever truly understand or care.

I'm starting to figure out that indeed I am in the wrong TIME, the wrong PLACE.  Damn.  I wish I had realized that before I jumped into this existence. 

Guess the time is near when I will have to start all over again.  Well, at least I tried while I was here.  I hope next time I'll pick the right existence where my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs will be more in tune with all else who occupy this space and time with me.  This is not where I belong.  I understand that now...

Looking forward to what is to come--
hope those who care will join me there...

Regrets?

If ever I needed to remember something and etch it into my brain, it is "Don't let regret take place of the dreams you have to chase."  
So often, we as humans tend to look back over our lives and feel remorse, regret, true sadness over opportunities we have lost--but I'm discovering that by looking back, by feeling regret, mourning my losses -- all I am doing is hindering my present, my very future.  All I can do is vow to begin each new day with the determination to live it fully, to make the very best of the time I have left on this great and wonderful earth of ours.  All I can do is move forward with kindness and joy and determination to share this kindness and joy that lives within my heart.  All I can do is continue to BELIEVE (yes, truly BELIEVE) in the love that I so need and want to believe in.  Whenever there is love there is kindness and whenever there is kindness, there is joy.  


With each new day, we have the opportunity for rebirth.  Each moment of each new day is a chance to get it right, to be the GOOD, KIND, CARING, GENTLE and LOVING SOUL that we know ourselves to be.

I am going to use my moments to strive to get it right--I am going to strive to share the love, the joy, the kindness that dwells within my heart and soul. My hope and my prayer is that all of mankind will join with me in sharing all that is GOOD, all that is REAL and all that is LOVE with those they meet along their paths...

Now this is hard.  Having a pristine, fall-like summer day--temps in the low 80's and then when the evening hits--wind dying to a few mph--(what---maybe 5 mph?) and no one here to share it with.


Damn.


A walk out at the lake--the water pristine and sparkling under the setting sun, the ripples on the lake gently moving, yet so quiet...and no one next to me to take it all in, to agree that yes, this is one of those perfect days that defies reason, defies description and begs, literally begs for agreement from someone special and dear that "YES, this is a perfect day.  So glad you are near."  But no one is near.


Alone.


Damn.


But one day--yes, one day in my future--in the days to come--I am going to figure out how to bloom, how to reach out and share this beautiful world that I inhabit and when I do...


...no more beautiful pristine, absolutely perfect days (or nights) alone.  I will have someone who is just as enchanted and exhilarated as I am to share it with and to exclaim that indeed, this LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!

Just When She Thought It Was Hopeless...

And as the butterfly flew around the earth, it found that there were so many, many wonderful discoveries yet to be found...

The butterfly landed on so many beautiful, bright colored flowers, drank in the nectar and marveled at the unbelievable gift of this new life, this new world.  Whereas before in her previous life, she had lived as a lowly caterpillar, vegging out on leaves and such, now she was introduced not only to the gift of flight, but the wondrous tastes and varieties of nectar that each flower held within it's being.  The butterfly flew about with joy and exuberance, thrilled to have this chance to endure, to explore, to experience.  She kept flitting from one flower to the next--always amazed at the intense beauty, the deliciousness of the delicacies that she found and she did not forget the wondrous lesson to be learned:  Never give up, for even when one thinks the end is near, new beginnings, new surprises and new adventures await and are just within one's grasp.  The key is to be alert and aware and OPEN to the new beginnings and to experience and enjoy and to BELIEVE in the wonders of Nature, the Universe and the wealth of knowledge to be gained in just living and "playing through" ones destiny in life... 

Hold Me Close

Is it so wrong to wish
that someone
just this one night,
just this one moment
could hold me close
and tell me
that everything
(yes every little thing)
is going to be alright?

Is it so wrong
to wish that I could feel
loving arms
encircling me, embracing me,
holding me close
with true warmth and love?

Just wondering, just wishing...
just needing
arms of LOVE to hold me tight.

Is that so wrong?

If so, then I'm sorry,
but it is what I need.

Hold me close.
Please?

Tree Begging for Rain

Walking along the lake path today--the breeze blows gently--the sun barely shines through a haze of clouds as the evening looms

And I look upon the lake and see to my dismay

that the water has receded even more

than when I was here 

just a few days before.

I listen--what is that sound I hear?

It truly sounds like rain

falling down

but then, I realize

as I look around

what I hear is the clattering sound

of the leaves on the trees

blowing in the wind.

They are so dry, so in need 

of a quenching drink

the clattering sound they make

makes me think

of a beggar shaking his cup

begging for coins

on the street

hoping somehow someone out there

will donate to meet

his humble need

of food or drink--

Tears fall from my heart

as I listen

to this sound

of the dry leaves 

clamoring, begging the sun

to drop down

"Please bring us rain, dear thin clouds"

they seem to say

And I realize now

that the trees 

do indeed pray.

Would that my tears

straight from my heart

could somehow help bring rain,

get it to start--

but all I can do is beg to the sky

"please, please 

hear my cry--

send the rain to my beloved trees,

I will gladly drop 

to my knees--

If only somehow, someway

you could see fit 

to bring the rain this very day."

I know not if my prayers will help--

all I know is that 

I can still hear

the clattering of dry leaves

so very near

and my heart aches

to my very core

wishing, hoping to see, feel the rain

once more.

Please???

#

I Wish I Were Your Angel

Sometimes I find myself just wishing...

Wishing somehow, someway

I could just be your angel

to watch over your every day

to make sure

you have a smile

always living inside your heart

to bring goodness and abundance

at the very start

of your day--

an angel who is always there

watching, loving

with the utmost care--

bringing blessings in abundance

not only to you, but to all those you love

and hold dear--

 Oh I wish I were your angel

just hovering near

making sure your smile

is always wide and clear

and giving to you all the hugs,

love and cheer

that you deserve and are so in need of.

(All I have for now

is my unending love).

Still...

wish I could be your angel

watching over you some day

making sure

that you

feel the love and hugs

I am always sending your way.

#

Looking Up To the Sky

I find myself drawn to looking up--I can't help it--the sky is such a canvas of beauty.  Whenever I am needing solace or inner peace, sometimes the clouds speak to me and help me to see what I need to see.

Surely it's not just me.  Do others see the absolute beauty that adorns the sky whenever the clouds gather to grace the sun?  I love looking up and seeing the artwork that is displayed above.

I dare anyone to tell me that our world is not a beautiful place.  I find beauty to comfort me wherever I go.

Now if only, only I can transfer

all of that beauty

to my inner soul--

And just how beautiful would it be

to have a rainbow living inside my heart?

Now that, my friends, is what I would call

True, Living Art.

Majestic Sky

At times whenever I am gazing up at the sky

I am amazed at the majestic beauty

that meets my eye.

How am I so fortunate to look up and see

this beautiful display shining above

looking down at me?

Imagining angels hovering near by

basking in the delight

of this evening sky

and knowing that they helped to bring me here

so that I might feel their presence near--

and get to witness the majesty and awesome sight

of this miracle of nature on this hot summer's night.

Such beauty reigns in our sky above

an artistic display most surely drawn

with the greatest of Love. 

Mother Nature's Beautiful Gifts

Hello, Mother Nature.  I hear you calling my name and I so want to answer your call--but I am just so tired and am not feeling 100% today.  Yes, I know how very beautiful you are and I know too how much you have to offer--especially in the evening twilight hours as your beautiful sun is sinking below the horizon.  Haven't I been there to watch your sun bid adieu on hundreds and hundreds of evenings?  I love each and every one of your gifts, you know. 

Every bird I hear sing, every beautiful flower that I find in bloom, every blade of grass and every grain of sand all are precious gifts to me.  So too the rocks I find lying about as I walk upon your beautiful land.  But I have to admit if I had to choose a favorite of your gifts, it would be the gifts of all of your trees. 

Silly me, I am so in love with the trees--each one holds a special meaning to me--each one represents a life that is so very precious and real and whenever I see the absolute beauty of a tree it almost always takes my breath away--such admiration I feel for the strong bark, the long limbs, the beautiful blooms and leaves and its longevity of life and then there is the infinite usefulness even after its life is done.  Everywhere I look I see the infinity of a tree--whether outside or in my home or even in a vast expanse of a shopping mall--trees have given their beauty to us in so very many ways. 

I comfort myself with knowing that I have tried so hard to capture your beauty, your essence, Mother Nature.  Though I am not up to going out to greet you or to bid your beautiful sun goodnight, I do have my many, many photographs of my time with you and I'm sure soon I will feel up to visiting you in person again--but for now, I am just not up to much more than basking in your beauty by way of my camera lens.  I hope I won't miss too much by staying in, but I know you'll not disappoint me when next we meet.

Blue Butterflies (A Promise)

Long ago, after my own mother had passed on to her next existence, my daughter and I got to talking.  We promised each other that whoever went first would come back as a Blue Butterfly and somehow that would be a sign that we were ever near, close in heart and that we were doing just fine on the "other side."

Right after my mother died, I was sitting outside and every where I went this very persistent white butterfly followed me.  When I would sit down outside, it would perch on my shoulder or rest very gently on the back of my hand.  Somehow I couldn't shake the feeling that it was my mother doing her best to let me know that all was well with her and to tell me in this way that she was ever close should I feel the need for her.

So many, many times since my mother has left this existence, I have had a white butterfly come into my existence whenever I am feeling "bummed" or just missing my mother and feeling so lonely for her.  It wasn't until one very chilly windy winter day out at my beloved lake when I was sitting on a bench on the walking path and suddenly I found myself in tears, weeping for all the things in my life that felt so very wrong, so hard to understand.  When I wiped my eyes and was about to continue my walk, there on a barren tree, leaves gone except for a few --there was my beautiful little white butterfly.  By the time I got my camera at the ready to take a picture of this awesome sight, the butterfly fluttered off into the wind and I missed my chance.  But I knew then it had to have been my mom.  I think she stopped by just to let me know that somehow, someway things would get better for me.

So, there's no doubt in my mind, my heart that once I am gone from this existence that I will be able to reappear as a beautiful blue butterfly to not only my daughter who I cherish, but to my other two children, my grand children and all others who I hold so very dear to my heart.

I know that there is more beyond what we are living in this existence and I know too that when my time comes it will be a joyful and wondrous adventure to embrace.

Dreamin' of Going Beyond

I suppose I must be aching for an escape--of late I keep remembering back to far away places--this my trip to Seattle that was actually so enjoyable and relaxing.  Loved the water--being on the Sound and loved the sights, the smells, the sounds of the hustle and bustle of all the people--but the ride on the water was so serene and peaceful and comforting to me.

No doubt.  I am a water baby.  Crave to be near water.  Not necessarily IN it, but most definitely close enough to see it, to be on it, to hear the life that surrounds it.

It's no wonder my home is only moments from our beautiful lake.  Yes, I know I am blessed--but still I cannot help but dream of one day going BEYOND all this.  My sense of adventure grows weary of staying put. 

Perhaps the Universe will sense my need to venture out into the beyond?  Hmmm...Look out World--here I come!

Reflections of Light

Reflections of light

shine through to my soul
I beg the sun
to somehow know
what it is I need, what I crave
Just listen to
the inside of me
and help me, dear sun
to fly fast and free--
for within
lies a spirit
that begs to soar
to regions unknown
to this heart of mine--
Please somehow
Help me to climb
to find that place in time
which I so desperately seek
You must, you must
understand these words I speak--
for my destiny lies
in those regions unknown
and I so ache to find and be
in my final home. #