Our Whole World Is Kin

I found this quote by William Shakespeare and am so very glad to see that even in his day, he believed so very much the same as me!  In my heart, I have no doubt that we are all so very connected and I think too that Nature pulls us all together far more than we even realize.

I still remember as a little girl, even before I went to kindergarten--playing in the dirt, letting it trickle through my fingers and KNOWING from somewhere deep within that this dirt I was touching, feeling, experiencing was a part of me, a part of all who had ever been, who would ever be.

It was then, at that tender age that I became extremely enthralled with Nature--with all living things.  I have always been very tactile--I have to feel, to touch, to really understand what it is that I am experiencing.

I wander through life in awe at the beauty that surrounds me--the sun, the sky, the flowers and trees and oh, best of all the lakes and oceans and all the creatures great and small.  I love that I am here on this earth, a part of this beautiful world that allows me to know without a doubt that all is as it should be, all is unfolding for the good.  We, as humans, may not understand the intricacies of our Universe, but anytime I am experiencing Nature's beauty and wonder, I am certain that all will align and all will be well...

Embrace Me To My Soul

Those moments
with you last night...
your sweet touch,
your hugs, your listening ear
and caring heart
embrace me to my soul.


Having you near again
holding me close
listening to the inside of me--
me listening to you--
brought back the sweet memories
of why I fell so very hard for you.


Time's treasures --
these little increments 
that we have been given
are such beautiful gifts
to hold so very dear--
I am so grateful
for this time 
we were able to share.


I can only hope
that the beautiful gifts
of time
will continue--
the hugs, laughter and joy
and closeness in heart
continues
for this is a world 
I want to be in--
the one that  includes you.


###

MY HOPE

I LOVE what that says.  

It almost hurts that the quote above did not come straight

out of me--

but it's okay

because it is so very succinct 

in that it says

so very MUCH 

of what I want to say...

What do I hope for?

I hope for universal understanding,

Universal LOVE,

universal caring and sharing,

and most of all

UNIVERSAL PEACE.

My dream?

My Hope?

For us all to just get along

and be tolerant

and understanding 

of all those who share

this time and space, this earth

with us.

And in thinking of the Possibility

that kids might grow up

to be neither the destroyers

or the destroyed

brings tears to my heart, my eyes.

This hope is so vast

and so huge 

inside of me

that it literally 

takes my breath away--

imagine -- just imagine --

a world (our world)

where UNDERSTANDING

and TOLERANCE

and CARING

and LOVE

are the PARAMOUNT

concerns

of all...

That is MY HOPE.

A Final Goodbye!

I'll get there.  But for now I have to look back and remember those times when things were so black and unreal and hard.  And then in looking back, I will be able to move onward, to forge ahead and find out just where it is I need to be, where it is I am going to find the real, inside ME.

So determined to find the ME that I want to BE.  I hear echoes of the past, of when I was so alone--so fucking, absolutely ALONE and fearful that I would never, ever find another living soul to understand, to help me to see that yes, yes, yes one day I would be free and that one day life would indeed welcome me.

I'm on my way, you know.  On my way to freedom from my past--freedom from the chains that held me tight and kept me from unleashing that which was the inner me.  I am no longer fearful of being just who it is I NEED and WANT to be.  No one can ever again hold me captive, keep me from feeling, from being, from experiencing all that is supposed to be ME. 

He can't hurt me anymore.  I relinquish all the hurt, all the pain, all the inner turmoil that I felt while under his grip, his domain and now I am FREE from the pain, the hold he had on me.  I never thought that it would be possible, but yes, now I'm FREE and I refuse--absolutely flat out refuse to ever allow him to have that hold on me again.  I am ME and by god, by universe, by all that is alive and well in this existence I am in--I will vow to never, ever, ever let him have his hold on me again.

So, just in case you don't get it (this is aimed at DR)--I am DONE letting you control my life, my heart, my mind, my body, my soul.  In case you have any doubt, let me give it to you straight:  I AM LETTING YOU GO.  DONE.  OVER. OUT.  BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get ready--I'm on my way to who I truly Intend for ME to BE!!!!

Brand New Endings

What a beautiful concept.  
And One that is so very true.
Each and every day 
is our gift
to start fresh,
to begin anew.
Wow.
I like that,
I really do.
Smiles (are seeping out)
from my heart
to each 
and every one
of you...
So, I'm ready
to start right now
to begin my brand new ending--
I would imagine (and hope)
that many of you
are ready too!


Blessings...


###

Blessings of Belonging--A Poem by John O'Donahue

John O'Donohue--

Blessed be the longing that brought you here and quickens your soul with wonder.
May you have the courage to befriend your eternal longing.
May you enjoy the critical and creative companionship of the question "who am I?" and may it brighten your longing.
May a secret providence guide your thought and shelter your feelings.
May your mind inhabit your life with the same sureness with which your body belongs in the world.
May the sense of something absent enlarge your life.
May your soul be as free as the ever new waves of the sea.
May you succumb to the danger of growth.
May you live in the neighborhood of wonder and may you belong to love with the wildness of dance and know
that you are ever embraced
In the kind circle
of God.

Eternal Echoes, Exploring Our Yearning to Belong. 


Borrowed from a dear and beloved friend's post who truly cares, who shares, who understands.  


Thank you, Friend.


#

Perhaps I jumped into the WRONG existence...

Please.  I just want the chance to feel.
Sometimes I think I am numb from the pain.
Pain?  Pain of knowing that I do not fit in as well as I should in this existence
that I find myself living within.

Just want the chance to find out--
do you understand?
does anyone understand?
If I go through that window of doubt
will I ever find my way back and if I do, will anyone want me as I am?

Kindness.  I don't know anymore if it even matters, if anyone will ever truly understand or care.

I'm starting to figure out that indeed I am in the wrong TIME, the wrong PLACE.  Damn.  I wish I had realized that before I jumped into this existence. 

Guess the time is near when I will have to start all over again.  Well, at least I tried while I was here.  I hope next time I'll pick the right existence where my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs will be more in tune with all else who occupy this space and time with me.  This is not where I belong.  I understand that now...

Looking forward to what is to come--
hope those who care will join me there...

Regrets?

If ever I needed to remember something and etch it into my brain, it is "Don't let regret take place of the dreams you have to chase."  
So often, we as humans tend to look back over our lives and feel remorse, regret, true sadness over opportunities we have lost--but I'm discovering that by looking back, by feeling regret, mourning my losses -- all I am doing is hindering my present, my very future.  All I can do is vow to begin each new day with the determination to live it fully, to make the very best of the time I have left on this great and wonderful earth of ours.  All I can do is move forward with kindness and joy and determination to share this kindness and joy that lives within my heart.  All I can do is continue to BELIEVE (yes, truly BELIEVE) in the love that I so need and want to believe in.  Whenever there is love there is kindness and whenever there is kindness, there is joy.  


With each new day, we have the opportunity for rebirth.  Each moment of each new day is a chance to get it right, to be the GOOD, KIND, CARING, GENTLE and LOVING SOUL that we know ourselves to be.

I am going to use my moments to strive to get it right--I am going to strive to share the love, the joy, the kindness that dwells within my heart and soul. My hope and my prayer is that all of mankind will join with me in sharing all that is GOOD, all that is REAL and all that is LOVE with those they meet along their paths...

Now this is hard.  Having a pristine, fall-like summer day--temps in the low 80's and then when the evening hits--wind dying to a few mph--(what---maybe 5 mph?) and no one here to share it with.


Damn.


A walk out at the lake--the water pristine and sparkling under the setting sun, the ripples on the lake gently moving, yet so quiet...and no one next to me to take it all in, to agree that yes, this is one of those perfect days that defies reason, defies description and begs, literally begs for agreement from someone special and dear that "YES, this is a perfect day.  So glad you are near."  But no one is near.


Alone.


Damn.


But one day--yes, one day in my future--in the days to come--I am going to figure out how to bloom, how to reach out and share this beautiful world that I inhabit and when I do...


...no more beautiful pristine, absolutely perfect days (or nights) alone.  I will have someone who is just as enchanted and exhilarated as I am to share it with and to exclaim that indeed, this LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!

Just When She Thought It Was Hopeless...

And as the butterfly flew around the earth, it found that there were so many, many wonderful discoveries yet to be found...

The butterfly landed on so many beautiful, bright colored flowers, drank in the nectar and marveled at the unbelievable gift of this new life, this new world.  Whereas before in her previous life, she had lived as a lowly caterpillar, vegging out on leaves and such, now she was introduced not only to the gift of flight, but the wondrous tastes and varieties of nectar that each flower held within it's being.  The butterfly flew about with joy and exuberance, thrilled to have this chance to endure, to explore, to experience.  She kept flitting from one flower to the next--always amazed at the intense beauty, the deliciousness of the delicacies that she found and she did not forget the wondrous lesson to be learned:  Never give up, for even when one thinks the end is near, new beginnings, new surprises and new adventures await and are just within one's grasp.  The key is to be alert and aware and OPEN to the new beginnings and to experience and enjoy and to BELIEVE in the wonders of Nature, the Universe and the wealth of knowledge to be gained in just living and "playing through" ones destiny in life...